Balakrishna / Telugu humour

1. Sardar standing on a platform suddenly jumps on to the track.
Man standing by: Rey potaav rey!!
Sardar: Poyedi nenu kadu raa nuvvu, train platform medaki vastundi anta vinapadaleda??

2. Aeroplane to train: Nuvvu enduku eppudu straight line lo veltaav?
Train: Maa amma nee laga galiki tiragadam nerpaledu

3. "Balakrishna is an actor" Forward this joke to 10 people and you'll get 1 Balakrishna film DVD. If you delete this sms you'll get 20 DVDs; Avasarama manaki? Hurry up.

4. Balayya meets Aishwarya in Filmfare awards.
Balayya: Sorry @ish naku English, Hindi theliyadu
Aishwarya: Sorry nuvvevaro naku theliyadu

5. Uppu karpurambu Balayya bandaga undu;
Chooda chooda cinemalu Chethaga undu;
Cinemalandu Balayya cinemalu verayya;
Viswadhabhirama "Mithrudu" choodakura mama

6. Two lovers plan to commit suicide
Boy jumps first, girl closed her eyes and stepped back. Boy opens parachute in mid-air and shouts "Nee yemma thelusay naku nee gurinchi"

7. What is the difference between suicide and murder?
Neeku nuvvu gaa Balakrishna cinema ki velthe adi suicide,
nuvvu tickets theesi evarinaina pampithe adi murder

8. Tolly heroes's exam writing style:

Mahesh: Yenni slippulu pettamo kadu annaya, question diginda leda
Chiru: Nuvvu moodu slippulu pettu, maro mugguriki slippulu pettamani cheppu
Saikumar: Question paper, Answer paper, Additional paper kanipinche moodu paperlu aithe kanipinchani aa nalugo papere Slip Slip Slip
Balakrishna: Kumara Swamy, Venkata Swamy, Narayana Swamy, Kanaka Swamy, Amara Swamy ila aiduguru slippulu petti dorikipothe ee sari putte vaadu slippu pette vaade kani dorikipoye vaadu kadani mokki mari pettadu raa maa nanna naku Slippuswamy ani

9. "Kannaya your son is dead"
Hearing this kannaya jumps from the 50th floor

35th floor: He realises "I don't have a son"
20th floor: "I'm not married"
10th floor: "Shit I'm not Kannaya I'm Balayya"

10. A 19-year old died suddenly, in Post Mortem doctors couldn't find anything unusual in his body condition, but after a thorough examination, found a ticket of Okka Magadu in his pocket

11. Chiru cinema ki friends tho vellu;

Venki cinema ki family tho vellu;

Nag cinema ki lover tho vellu;

kani Balayya cinema ki mathram intlo cheppi vellu.

12. Balakrishna: White papers 5 ivvandi
Shopkeeper: Sorry Sir okate undi
Balakrishna: Parvaledu nenu Xerox cheskuntanu

13. Boy: dress bagundi
Girl: ThanQ
Boy: Lipstick kooda bagundi
Girl:ThanQ
Boy: Makeup kooda baga chesav
Girl: ThanQ Annaya
Boy: Aina daridranga kanipisthunnav!!

Jokes / Humour

1. A cute & innocent blackmail: As the thief was leaving the house, the child woke up and said to the thief, "Take my school bag also or I'll wake up my mom"

2. Ghajini effect: A boy opens his tiffin box in the middle of the road, why did he do that?


He wanted to check whether he was going to the college or coming back!!!!

3. I had a dream last night, only you and me. We were running in a garden, me in the front and you running after me, with the Vodafone music in the background. How romantic huh?

4. Principal: You idiots! at your age Newton invented the law of gravity what about you?

Student: Sir, at your age Hitler committed suicide what about you?

5. A rose is always a rose whether it is in a glass vase or a clay pot. In the same way you are always my friend whether you are in an African forest or an Indian zoo

6. Beauty is ageless, love is boundless, heartbeats are countless and a friend like you is hopeless oops Shameless chi sorry Useless ayyo sorry extremely priceless

7. If you got my SMS I am smart, if you save my SMS you agree that I am smart, if you forward my SMS you are spreading that I am smart, if you delete my SMS you are jealous because I am smart

8. Bhulkar bhi kisiko na rulana;

zindagi mein sabko hasana;

dushmanon ko bhi gale lagana;

fir bhi koi gham de tho phone lagana;

tapka denge saale ko

9. In a maths exam a Sardar was dancing instead of writing the exam why?

.

.

.

.

.

.

because someone told him there were marks for every STEP.

10. Never kiss a lawyer She'll say "I Object this"
Never kiss a nurse she'll say "Who's next"
Always kiss a teacher she'll say "Do it 10 times".

Sentimental / Friendship

Knowingly or unknowingly some people walk into your life & it's your decision whom you want to lose and whom you don't want to.

Who helps you, don't forget them; Who likes you, don't hate them; Who has hopes on you, don't let them down; Who trusts you, don't cheat on them.

The world is round, we will meet again 'n' again. Whenever we meet, I will ask you "How are you?" hope you won't jumble the words and ask me "Who are you?"

Don't ever leave the one who loves you for the one you love, because the one you love may leave you for the ones they love.

A good relationship should have the determination like a mirror, which never loses its ability to reflect even if it is broken into a thousand pieces.

Relationships are like a book, it takes few seconds to burn but years to write. So write them carefully and never let them burn. Its nice to have you as a page in my life.

Motivation / Success / Inspiring

1. The Great thing that a little lamp can do which the mighty Sun can't is, it gives light during the night. No one is superior by size, only by purpose.

2. Some of the best music was composed by Beethoven who was Deaf
Some of the best poetry about nature was by Milton who was Blind
One of the greatest US Presidents Franklin Roosevelt served from a wheelchair.

Turn scars into stars, we're born to achieve.

3. When we build a house, every brick counts;
When we build a character, every thought counts.
Feed your mind with positive thoughts daily.

4. Every new idea is a joke until one man achieves it;

every new thought is silly until you try and believe in it.

5. When a drop of rain water falls in a sea it loses its identity,

but when the same drop falls on a lotus leaf it shines like a pearl.

Choose your place of landing carefully if you want to end up shining.

6. Always try your best to get whatever you love, otherwise you'll be forced to love whatever you get.

7. Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.

8. People will always throw stones in your path, it actually depends on you, whether you intend to build a wall or a bridge of them. Remember that you are the architect of your own life.

9. Learn to smile at every situation, see it as an opportunity to prove your strength and ability.

10. Your dreams will not die, your plans will not fail, your destiny won't be doomed as long as you have the desire in your heart and believe in yourself.

11. Never expect things to happen; make them happen.
Never expect yourself to be valued well; create a value of your own, coz you're born to succeed.